09.30.08
Sarah Palin Interviews
I saw parts of both of these clips at different times. I knew they were close, but I didn’t realize how close.
07.03.08
The $2 Pop
When a mistake happens once it is just that, a mistake. When the same mistake happens twice, it could be considered a coincidence. The third time is a trend. The fourth and fifth times make me wonder if the mistake is a trained behavior.
For the past few years, we have been noticing a growing trend when we go to restaurants. Every time theDaughter orders a drink, when the menu specifies that it comes free with her kid’s meal, she is brought a large drink and we are charged for it. Now it has never been a problem getting the waitress or waiter to take the charge off the bill, in fact they usually are very quick to say “sorry, my bad”, but we should not have to go through that. Especially as many times as we have.
I have found that this can be avoided by asking the waitress/waiter while ordering drinks if the drink comes with the kids meal, but I should not have to do that either. It leads me to believe that this is not a mistake, but a trained action. As many times as this “mistake” has happened, and in as many restaurants that it has happened, this must be a trained action. Which then also leads me to believe that restaurants must make a lot of money off of pop/soda. At over $2 a pop, I can see how that is true.
02.17.08
Results: 1960 vs. 2007
Different Scenarios and the difference in their results from 1960 to 2007. Although extremely funny, most of this is unfortunately true:
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
- 1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.
- 2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.
Scenario: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.
- 1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
- 2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him the slipper.
- 1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
- 2007 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.
Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school
- 1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.
- 2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.
- 1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.
- 2007 - Mohammed’s cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
- 1960 - Ants die.
- 2007 - FBI and Homeland Security are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
- 1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
- 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.
02.14.08
Lesson Learned, Unfortunately
There are certain things in life that I am probably better off not knowing. Last night I learned one of those things:
Our Rabbit has a growth? – Yahoo! Answers
Rabbit abscesses are quite different to dog and cat abscesses – the pus is a lot thicker and harder, and their abscesses tend to be firm and very hard to break open, often appearing like a tumour.
The stench is also very nasty. As I found out, it is one of the few smells that actually makes me feel sick to my stomach and I have an iron stomach. theWife called me while I was still at work and told me that theBunny had a lump on her dewlap burst. There was pus all over her fur and she could not take the smell. She had to get theDaughter to Girl Scouts, to boot, so she asked if I could get theBunny cleaned up.
This is where I find out the above lesson learned is one that would never have made my bucket list. After discovering there would not be a vet available to see theBunny until tonight, I attempted to clean the broken abscess myself. When I say I “attempted” to clean it, I mean that I did it, but I bitched, moaned and whined very loudly while I was doing it. I was so loud in my complaining that theElderSon came into the room to help and almost passed out from the stench of this Bunny Pus.
Regardless of the events of last night, I am now smarter because I know the difference between the pus in an abscess on a cat or dog and that of the pus in the abscess of a bunny. Lucky me.
10.25.07
Pretty Big Story
A couple of mornings ago, as I was listening to the radio in the morning, I was affronted by what is wrong with society. Yes, driving in my car, I realized where everything that is wrong with human nature stems from. One of the morning dumb jockies that theElderSon likes to listen to as I drive him to school, was doing her daily impersonation of a news reporter. In her bit, she broke down news of the wildfires that are raging in Southern California, and she described the tragedy that is currently happening as a “Pretty Big Story”.
A story? That is the number one problem with this country, everything is just a story. I would like to go on record to correct the dimb jockey and call her “story” what it really is. A Tragedy.
Just for the record, a story is a piece of fiction written by an author meant to amuse or entertain in one way or another. The word story most likely started being used by the ahole media to unhumanize the event in order to report it. Over time, the worse the tragedy was, the better the “story” is. But let’s not forget that what is happening in Southern California is not a story…It is really happening. There really are people that have had to evacuate their homes, leaving all their possessions behind, only to have everything they own burnt to nothing. It’s not just a “Pretty Big Story”. No you idiot, it’s so much more.
03.27.07
Pet Peeve
I do not have any “Pet Peeve”(s). At least I like to claim that I don’t. For the most part I think that a pet peeve is fairly useless. What is it but a thing for which upsets a person that can not be dealt with? Most of the time when someone with a pet peeve witnesses that pet peeve being performed, they do not do anything about it, but complain, or become generally irritated. And someone who gets irritated over something they have no control over is really a pet peeve of mine.Right about now, you’re asking yourself where this is going, what’s up with the picture of the escalator, and what’s up with the midget? Ok, so maybe you weren’t asking yourself about the midget, it’s just a reference I like to use every once in awhile (if you can tell me where it’s from I’ll award you with bonus points and much respect). But I digress. Over the past 6 months of working in my new job, I have come to realize I do have a pet peeve. It gets so bad at times I just want to run through people yelling at the top of my lungs. What causes me to want to act like a screaming mimi, tearing through crowds and causing a commotion? People who stand on escalators.
Every day I have to go up and down a couple of escalators on my way to my office. Worse than the people who stand on them is the people who stand on escalators in pairs so I can’t walk by even if I tried. Think about it, standing on an escalator is just plain lazy. They were invented to get us where we wanted to go faster, not to be lazy. If it were meant for us to just stand on, it would be an elevator. Now you want to stand there and talk to your coworker/friend and block my way, causing me to be inefficient as well…..Can you see why this frustrates me? I just want to get where I’m going, now. Is that so wrong? At least stay to one side so I can go about my merry way efficiently. Is that too much to ask?
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03.19.07
No-Rad
Have times gotten that bad? Or is this a leftover from the Cold War that went unpurchased and forgotten about? Or maybe this is necessary for family safety when living near Lake Erie? I have heard about two headed bass swimming around and being caught, but this is ridiculous.Whatever the reason for it’s existence, theWife and I walked into a local Health Food store looking for something for our pets, but walked out prepared for a nuclear strike. As it turns out, this product is sold at a good deal of Health Food stores, including ones online:
No-Rad Anti-Radiation Potassium Iodide tablets | HerbShop.com
Peace of Mind in a Changing World
Be Prepared! Protect your family against the absorption of radioactive iodine after a nuclear emergency!
Ok, so maybe we didn’t purchase any, but it’s good to know that we could have. One never knows when the next nuclear emergency will take place.
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09.20.06
What Do You Mean No
If you are going to propose in front of tens of thousands of fans, you better be damn sure that she will say yes!!
09.19.06
Hilarious prank call ever: Fired
Just wait for the end of this one. I would’ve loved to hear them let her down and her reaction. “Boss calls employees wife to explain why he fired her husband: “…we found your husband on top of his desk making love with secretary…” – oh G, this woman is so angry! This is the funniest prank call I ever heard!”
09.18.06
Humans, the stupidest species on Earth!
When I first read this title, I immediately disagreed. But the video makes a great argument for it’s case.
