01.25.09
Things I Haven’t Done
There are many items on my to do list that I would really like to do in this life. I’m not talking about travel that for monetary reasons I have not been able to do to this point in my life. These are things I could do right now if I chose to and lent time and effort to them. For whatever reason though I have yet to do any of them. I will now speak of them in the hope that I may start to motivate myself enough to get started on at least one of them.
Write a Book
My mastery of the english language my not be good enought to crack the NY Times Bestseller list yet, but I believe it is good enough to write a book. My imagination may not allow me to create worlds and bring them to the reader in a manner that is understandable, but it is decent. Writing a book is not something I think I would be great at, but it is something I would like to do, for me. I would love to tell a story from start to finish that would entertain or effect the reader in such a way to be remembered. That’s all. I even have the plot almost worked out:
“Jim is a normal guy. He has a normal wife, two normal kids, a normal pet and a normal job. Jim’s life is so normal that his last name is even Normal. Jim suffers from delusions of grandeur, however and his delusions are getting worse as of late, unbeknownst to the Normal family. At any time Jim will depict himself saving a stranger’s life, or meeting a secret admirer he didn’t know he had. Jim starts to imagine anything that will allow him to escape the normalcy of his life.
All that changes, however, when Jim is finally in the wrong place at the wrong time, changing everything about the Normal Family for ever…..or does it?”
Apply to Survivor
Those that know me well, know that my favorite reality show has always been Survivor. Out of the 17 seasons the show has aired, I have watched 15. It is rare that the most deserving person on the show each season, wins, but to their own fault. Most of the time there is one contestant that does outlast, outwit, outplay, but they fail to argue that to the jury. In fact, like Sugar did in this last season, they usually try to backtrack and apologize, when they should not. I would like to change that.
I would do whatever it took to get to the final three, then argue that I outlasted, outwitted and outplayed every last member of the jury. I would let the jury know, when asked, that while I enjoyed spending time with them, I needed to vote them off to win a million dollars. Plain and simple. I have hated every answer I have heard to the question “Why did you stab me in the back and vote me off”? My answer would simply be “because I wanted to last longer than you to win the million dollars.” When asked “Why do you deserve to win?” my answer would be “because I outwitted, outlasted, and outplayed everyone on the jury. I deserve the million because, whether it is the popular choice or not, I decided when and who to vote off.”
I know I can make it that far in the game, and make the correct argument to win the game of Survivor. I cannot explain, however, why I have yet to make a video to submit to CBS to apply to be on the show.
While there are more items that I have not begun to tackle to this point in my life, I will start with these. These are the two things I would like to start doing now. I’ll continue this topic another day.
10.16.08
Rebel Yell
I was just going through some videos on YouTube and found some cheap videos shot at the Foo Fighters Concert I took theDaughter to. Being in the upper deck, I was not expecting to be able to hear myself in a video taken on the floor, but at 1:57 of this video, during the drum solo, you can hear me. I promise that’s me, I remember Breanna covering her ears and thanking me after yelling during the drum solo:
09.30.08
Sarah Palin Interviews
I saw parts of both of these clips at different times. I knew they were close, but I didn’t realize how close.
07.07.08
A Guide To Life
Things They Don’t Tell You (But Should). This is hilarious. For example:
The majority of people are borderline sociopaths who’d step over your corpse to get a better parking space, and yet they won’t hesitate to pass howling judgement on you if you screw up in even the most minute, insignificant way. Just one more reason to not screw up. Ever.
07.01.08
Birthday Concert
The average ten year old girl wants to go see Hannah Montana, er Mylee Cyrus or the Jonas Brothers in concert. When we asked theDaughter what she wanted to do for her 10th birthday, and she said she wanted to go see a concert, I was prepared for the worst. What I wasn’t ready for was her response. TheDaughter and I, upon her request, are going to see The Foo Fighters concert on the 25th.
06.30.08
Lost Highway on Hulu
A buddy has been raving about this movie for the last couple of months, telling me that I need to see it. Thanks to Hulu.com, I now can. I have added it to my queue and can watch it anytime I want to, for free:
Hulu – Lost Highway – Full Episodes streaming online for free
Lost Highway
David Lynch delivers one of his most renowned masterpieces in this mysterious and surreal film. Bill Pullman plays Fred Madison, a man who begins receiving disturbing video tapes in the mail of him and his wife (Patricia Arquette) sleeping.
06.13.08
Rube Goldberg was my Hero
I always wanted one of these, but always thought that it would suck to have to set it up everyday. I can’t even remember to set up the coffee at night.
Rube Goldberg Machines: The Top 10 Rube Goldberg Machines Featured On Film
Who doesn’t love the intricacy of Rube Goldberg machines? A celebration of the most mechanical, complex and absurd way of performing an everyday task, there’s nothing quite like watching a cuckoo clock set off a bowling ball that rolls into a pie pan which lifts up some guy’s pants before he gets arrested for exposure—again. And combined with the over-the-top designs of Hollywood movies, these gadgets of pure imagination find their most welcome (and plausible) home
02.20.08
Survivor Fan
Joel is now an all-time Survivor favorite of mine. What he did last week had to be the absolute best blind side in Survivor history, especially since it happened in his tribe’s first tribal counsel. It has almost been a week since I watched the episode and I still am in awe when I think of Joel’s play. For those that did not see the episode, or do not watch Survivor, here is a quick breakdown, with spoilers, of what happened:
- Joel let Mikey take the lead and convince everyone to vote off Tracey.
- Joel went behind Mikey’s back, believing that Mikey and Mary were getting too close, convinced just enough people to vote off Mary.
- To pull it off, Joel convinced his alliance, run by Mikey, that they should split their vote, 4 for Tracey, 3 for Chet.
- He then told the outcast 3, along with 2 insiders from the 7 strong alliance to vote Mary.
- Joel voted for Tracey, knowing that Mary would have enough votes, because he split the votes for Tracey and Chet.
- Mary was voted out and went home, much to the chagrin of a shocked Mikey.
- Joel is able to tell Mikey he voted for Tracey without lying.
If Joel is capable of that much treachery in his tribe’s first tribal counsel, I can not wait to see what happens the rest of the way. That type of move will either backfire on him, or will be his answer to the jury when asked why he should be the winner. As of now, I’m pulling for Joel.
02.17.08
Results: 1960 vs. 2007
Different Scenarios and the difference in their results from 1960 to 2007. Although extremely funny, most of this is unfortunately true:
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
- 1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.
- 2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.
Scenario: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.
- 1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
- 2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him the slipper.
- 1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
- 2007 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.
Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school
- 1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.
- 2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.
- 1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.
- 2007 - Mohammed’s cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
- 1960 - Ants die.
- 2007 - FBI and Homeland Security are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
- 1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
- 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.
02.13.08
They Call Themselves Fans
Those that know theMike, know that I have a sick need to rot my brain with mindless entertainment from time to time. Ashamed as I am to admit it, the way I get my fix is with reality TV. There is something I cannot describe that I like about watching people who probably are decent human beings compete in endless mind games to win money. My favorite of the reality bunch is probably Survivor. I finally got the chance to watch the first episode of Fans vs. Faves and I love the show already. I missed the fact that it was even on last week, so it did not make it into my DVR’s scheduled programs. Thanks to cbs.com, I can watch the show in it’s entirety online:
Video Detail – Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs. Favorites on CBS
Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites – You Guys Are Dumber Than You Look 43:13 For the first time in Survivor history, a tribe of idolizing ultra-Fans is surprised when they come face-to-face with a tribe of Favorites from Survivor’s past.
Some observations (without spoilers) as I watched:
- If the fans are really fans, why didn’t they start forming alliances on Day 1. That’s what most winners have done, and that what the faves did.
- I can’t decide which scenario is funnier:
- Players believe what Johnny Fairplay says, even though as he put it in his own words “Have they seen the show before?”
- Johnny Fairplay thinks the other players believe him.
- I’m very disappointed in who got voted out. A lot of entertainment left with that player.
- The hug was one of the most awkward moments I’ve seen not scripted.
