02.20.08
Survivor Fan
Joel is now an all-time Survivor favorite of mine. What he did last week had to be the absolute best blind side in Survivor history, especially since it happened in his tribe’s first tribal counsel. It has almost been a week since I watched the episode and I still am in awe when I think of Joel’s play. For those that did not see the episode, or do not watch Survivor, here is a quick breakdown, with spoilers, of what happened:
- Joel let Mikey take the lead and convince everyone to vote off Tracey.
- Joel went behind Mikey’s back, believing that Mikey and Mary were getting too close, convinced just enough people to vote off Mary.
- To pull it off, Joel convinced his alliance, run by Mikey, that they should split their vote, 4 for Tracey, 3 for Chet.
- He then told the outcast 3, along with 2 insiders from the 7 strong alliance to vote Mary.
- Joel voted for Tracey, knowing that Mary would have enough votes, because he split the votes for Tracey and Chet.
- Mary was voted out and went home, much to the chagrin of a shocked Mikey.
- Joel is able to tell Mikey he voted for Tracey without lying.
If Joel is capable of that much treachery in his tribe’s first tribal counsel, I can not wait to see what happens the rest of the way. That type of move will either backfire on him, or will be his answer to the jury when asked why he should be the winner. As of now, I’m pulling for Joel.
02.17.08
Results: 1960 vs. 2007
Different Scenarios and the difference in their results from 1960 to 2007. Although extremely funny, most of this is unfortunately true:
Scenario: Johnny and Mark get into a fistfight after school.
- 1960 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up mates.
- 2007 - Police are called, Armed Response Unit arrives and arrests Johnny and Mark. Mobiles with video of fight confiscated as evidence. They are charged with assault, ASBOs are taken out and both are suspended even though Johnny started it. Diversionary conferences and parent meetings conducted. Video shown on 6 internet sites.
Scenario: Jeffrey won’t sit still in class, disrupts other students.
- 1960 - Jeffrey is sent to the principal’s office and given 6 of the best. Returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.
- 2007 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. Counselled to death. Becomes a zombie. Tested for ADD. School gets extra funding because Jeffrey has a disability. Drops out of school.
Scenario: Billy breaks a window in his neighbour’s car and his Dad gives him the slipper.
- 1960 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college, and becomes a successful businessman.
- 2007 - Billy’s dad is arrested for child abuse. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. Psychologist tells Billy’s sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy’s mom has an affair with the psychologist. Psychologist gets a promotion.
Scenario: Mark, a college student, brings cigarettes to school
- 1960 - Mark shares a smoke with the school principal out on the smoking area.
- 2007 - Police are called and Mark is expelled from School for drug possession. His car is searched for drugs and weapons.
Scenario: Mohammed fails high school English.
- 1960 - Mohammed retakes his exam, passes and goes to college.
- 2007 - Mohammed’s cause is taken up by local human rights group. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that making English a requirement for graduation is racist. Civil Liberties Association files class action lawsuit against state school system and his English teacher. English is banned from core curriculum. Mohammed is given his qualification anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.
Scenario: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers, puts them in a model plane paint bottle and blows up an anthill.
- 1960 - Ants die.
- 2007 - FBI and Homeland Security are called and Johnny is charged with perpetrating acts of terrorism. Teams investigate parents, siblings are removed from the home, computers are confiscated, and Johnny’s dad goes on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.
Scenario: Johnny falls during break and scrapes his knee. His teacher, Mary, finds him crying, and gives him a hug to comfort him.
- 1960 - Johnny soon feels better and goes back to playing.
- 2007 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces three years in prison. Johnny undergoes five years of therapy. Becomes gay.
02.14.08
Lesson Learned, Unfortunately
There are certain things in life that I am probably better off not knowing. Last night I learned one of those things:
Our Rabbit has a growth? – Yahoo! Answers
Rabbit abscesses are quite different to dog and cat abscesses – the pus is a lot thicker and harder, and their abscesses tend to be firm and very hard to break open, often appearing like a tumour.
The stench is also very nasty. As I found out, it is one of the few smells that actually makes me feel sick to my stomach and I have an iron stomach. theWife called me while I was still at work and told me that theBunny had a lump on her dewlap burst. There was pus all over her fur and she could not take the smell. She had to get theDaughter to Girl Scouts, to boot, so she asked if I could get theBunny cleaned up.
This is where I find out the above lesson learned is one that would never have made my bucket list. After discovering there would not be a vet available to see theBunny until tonight, I attempted to clean the broken abscess myself. When I say I “attempted” to clean it, I mean that I did it, but I bitched, moaned and whined very loudly while I was doing it. I was so loud in my complaining that theElderSon came into the room to help and almost passed out from the stench of this Bunny Pus.
Regardless of the events of last night, I am now smarter because I know the difference between the pus in an abscess on a cat or dog and that of the pus in the abscess of a bunny. Lucky me.
02.13.08
They Call Themselves Fans
Those that know theMike, know that I have a sick need to rot my brain with mindless entertainment from time to time. Ashamed as I am to admit it, the way I get my fix is with reality TV. There is something I cannot describe that I like about watching people who probably are decent human beings compete in endless mind games to win money. My favorite of the reality bunch is probably Survivor. I finally got the chance to watch the first episode of Fans vs. Faves and I love the show already. I missed the fact that it was even on last week, so it did not make it into my DVR’s scheduled programs. Thanks to cbs.com, I can watch the show in it’s entirety online:
Video Detail – Survivor: Micronesia – Fans vs. Favorites on CBS
Survivor: Fans vs. Favorites – You Guys Are Dumber Than You Look 43:13 For the first time in Survivor history, a tribe of idolizing ultra-Fans is surprised when they come face-to-face with a tribe of Favorites from Survivor’s past.
Some observations (without spoilers) as I watched:
- If the fans are really fans, why didn’t they start forming alliances on Day 1. That’s what most winners have done, and that what the faves did.
- I can’t decide which scenario is funnier:
- Players believe what Johnny Fairplay says, even though as he put it in his own words “Have they seen the show before?”
- Johnny Fairplay thinks the other players believe him.
- I’m very disappointed in who got voted out. A lot of entertainment left with that player.
- The hug was one of the most awkward moments I’ve seen not scripted.
02.11.08
A Dingo Ate My Baby
Me thinks we in trouble. I have had a suspicious feeling the we own a dingo for quite some time, but now I have photographic proof, and documentation that we are in trouble:
The 6 Cutest Animals That Can Still Destroy You | Cracked.com
Dingo (Canis lupus dingo)
How cute!
Look at the pretty little puppy! Who’s a pretty little puppy?
Oh yes you are! Yes you are! Whoosagoodboyyy? Whooooooosagoodbooooooyyyyy?
Both of those images are pictures of Dingos directly from the article. After the jump we will discover that I am the proud owner of a dingo.
Read the rest of this entry »
02.08.08
I’m Jacks
I have recently played in a few poker tournaments which are hosted by a group of friends, one of which is my neighbor. They have been holding the tourneys once every couple of months, usually changing houses, but generally have the same format every time. I have done well, by placing 3rd, 2nd, and 2nd in the last three tournaments, but have yet to claim the top prize. Last Saturday they held another tourney.
When I arrived at the game, I was let in the front door and ushered into the basement. As I walked through the hallway, I thought I saw a woman I recognized from work. It wasn’t until I was halfway down the stairs that I realized who the woman was, and that she is also the mother of one of my coworkers in the department. At that point the game was getting started, so I did not have a chance to say hello, but I made a note to mention the sighting to my coworker.
The game started with almost 30 players. Halfway through it was announced that the top 5 would be paid. With six players left, and with the 3rd largest chip stack, I found myself in the big blind with a pocket pair of Jacks. Three players called the blind, but there were no raises, so I raised 5x the big blind, which happened to be roughly one fourth of my chips. The first caller, who was easily the biggest guy at this game, more on that later, thought about my raise for a few minutes. He then announced he was all in, with the second largest chipstack, which would of course force me to risk all of my chips to call. After the other three players still in the hand folded it was time to make my decision.
02.05.08
The Worst NFL Tradition
There is one tradition in the NFL that I despise. One tradition which has become part of the NFL culture every year since 1972. The tradition which celebrates the loss of the last undefeated team by the alumni of the 1972 Dolphins. I am all for celebrating tradition in the NFL, just not this one:
ESPN – Perfect ending has ‘72 Dolphins bubbling over – NFL
Darkness covered the desert when Bob Kuechenberg awoke two time zones away Sunday morning. “Kooch” was nervous, amped and hopeful. The former Miami Dolphins offensive lineman was not afraid to say it: He was rooting for the New York Giants almost as hard as he rooted for his own team 35 years ago.
I personally was one of the few who were rooting for the Patriots in the bar theWife and I watched the game in. When asked why I would not root for the underdog, my main reason was so that I would not hear the 1972 Dolphins talk of their perfection any longer.
If another team does happen to achieve perfection, it would not change the fact the Miami did it in 1972. The problem, I believe, is that Miami only played 14 regular season games, 17 overall, and would therefore not have the best record in an NFL season any more. Their perfect season would be looked at as second best. That is why they root against it so vehemently. It seems childish in that light.
Here are teams who have won more games in one season than did the 1972 Miami Dolphins:
18 – 1 1984 San Francisco 49ers
18 – 1 1985 Chicago Bears
18 – 1 2007 New England Patriots
The only consolation I have after this Patriot’s loss is that I can still hope that the team finally does break Miami’s single season record will be the Cleveland Browns….in 2009.
Powered by ScribeFire.
